♥ yourwhore. // big fake smiles.

fuckcomplications.

i do not handle situations well. all i wanna do is hide under the covers and shut myself from the world completely. im trying my best to get my thinking straight and come up with decisions but i cant decide. you say you love me, but thats what he said too. so out of which two am i suppose to choose? dont pressurize me, cause i dont handle such situations well. and yes, im still not over the ex. 8months has passed, but he's still alive in my mind, toying with my emotions. what the fuck do you expect me to do? the feelings mutual and its something i cant fuckingly control. sometimes i wish i could end this life, but no, i love myself too much to bother myself with such stupid details. could you please just give me some time and some space? i really dont understand you. fuck, i really dont. sometimes i regret having known you, but at the same time, its you i fell head over heels with. the way you understand me, my whimps and woes, the way you take in my criticism and endless rants. the way you make everything in life seems so positive and laid-back. and many more. it takes an army of people to stop and understand me, but only you can handle me single handedly. yes, i have my wayward ways, which has somewhat subsided with your presence for the past few months. but i still wanna do what i enjoy doing most and just waste few moments of my life. and i do not want you to keep saving me each time i take a step and i stumble. i thank you for being a huge part of my life. but i do not want to live this guilt of loving someone else when im with you. and i hope you understand that. get over it; you say. im trying, goddammit, im trying. fuck it. im really trying my best.